Sighing

As much as I love being at home, I still hate it sometimes.

I live in a three-story house with my parents, an 18-y.o brother, and a 15-y.o sister. Nah, my house isn’t big; instead, it’s located in the corner of the neighborhood. We share the second and the third floor with … everyone else.

So, basically, my mother inherited the house from my grandfather, and it’s shared between her and my uncle. So, here it is: we live in the lower floor and he lives on the second. The third floor is basically just a simple room and a lot of free, roofless space. We have only two rooms on the lower floor: the first for me and my siblings, and the other for my parents. So, yeah, I don’t have my own bedroom (WE don’t have our own bedrooms), and it sucks big time.

I’m 22 and I can’t enjoy my privacy. When it’s 11 PM, my mom/dad would show up from the other room and tell me to go to sleep. The PC I use for doing college tasks or simply browsing the internet is located in the same room where the TV is so I can finish those tasks while listening to the TV. Great. I can’t even enjoy my spare time playing mobile games in the night without getting scolded for not being on the bed, sleeping.

I love having convos and late night calls with my SO, but guess what? I have to find a spot for myself so I can get my own privacy. I mean, people are having their time in their own little rooms but here I am, stuck in this house.

When I was 18, it was my dream to live by myself, far from home and become a student of any college outside Jakarta. But I know, it would cost so much, and I would add another burden to the family. So I pulled back the idea until I realize how stressful it is for me to live like this.

I’m so desperate to the level where I have no plan on getting married and the idea of living alone sounds so tempting.